Long ago we didn’t live past the age of 30 so doing the math, we were probably not seeing a long marriage between two people. Now we live much longer and although this is so much more preferred we do want to have our time here enjoyable. If you are in a bad marriage and unhappy, the studies show that a bad marriage can take away 8 years of your life. That’s a lot of years. Quality life means waking up every day and loving what you have created for yourself. Of course not every day is rainbows and butterflies but for the most part you are happy and have a future you look forward to.
The bad marriage finds you unhappy, sad, disenchanted, frustrated, angry, bickering with your spouse over stupid insignificant things. Yet, in the scheme of things you are not getting your needs met, nor are you at all looking toward the future with a sense of commitment and progress toward building the intimacy between the two of you.
If when you look at your spouse and get a lump in your throat or he or she walks in the door and you seethe, there is a problem. You may need to consider deeply as to how you want to spend the rest of your life. With or without this person. If you are unhappy chances are you partner is too.
As sad as it is there comes a time when calling it quits relieves you of the deeper pain of misery. If you have considered couple’s counseling or individual counseling for your own person self-discovery then pursue this treatment. Despite what ends up happening in your marriage you will at least understand why. It’s important that you are clear about your behaviors and why you feel the way you. Especially because you do not want to take this to the next relationship. And most likely, you will have another relationship. Many people enjoy a happy relationship with shared memories, shared common goals, shared activities, etc. Since your life has value and you want to keep it as long as possible then create a life worth living. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece but it come very close, it just takes courage.
Please Contact us for a FREE consultation to help you with your divorce and you are doing the right things for your children.
Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group. We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, firstname.lastname@example.org or 1-888-281-2725.