Bending The Rules During Divorce Mediation

As mediators we know the law it is our professional duty to know the law to guide our clients and to educate them on what the courts believe to be the most just for all parties in the court room and the court system. Having said that… we do not necessarily go by the law but go by what is best for the family.  We believe that every family is special and unique in its own system. As a therapist, divorce coach and mediator each case that comes into our office is, I believe, a very complex unit. Not complicated, not in the derogatory sense but in the sense that each person who comes to us has their own set of values, belief’s wants and needs. It is impossible nor is it fair to apply law after law on a human without considering who they are? We don’t think so. We believe that the laws were put into place, but just like rules, they were meant to bend a bit.

It takes a conscientious professional mediator to sift through the complexities of each family’s situation and come out on the other end with a fair settlement. Which is why Don and I work together as a team.

If we are going to take the law and then apply some personal customizing to suit both party’s needs including the needs of the children then we need to be well versed on the law and also sensitive and wise while negotiating.  It’s easy for a lawyer to just follow the law like a manual that was given to them in law school. It’s much more difficult to take the law and apply it to individuals and custom make the case a fair and humane settlement. Yet we charge less. When it comes to renovating a kitchen, any contractor can go to Home depot or IKEA and select the cabinets and install them, but a designer and innovator takes the measurements and custom builds the cabinets to suit the beauty and expression of the client who owns the kitchen. That’s who we are, as mediators, designers that custom make your family’s future to fit you and express who you as a family are. Why do we do this? It takes caring and sensitive people to do we what we do. We believe that there is a better, more humane way to dissolve a marriage. We know that the dissolve has its own sadness and loss and we don’t want t ad to the injury of this, but rather help heal the loss and have everyone involved land in a much better place. We are proud of what we do, and we make sure that anyone who needs this guidance is getting the best care and nformation as possible.

Look for our Book : Conscious Coupling:Positive Insights for Long-Lasting Relationships Shared by Two Divorce Mediators, and our other website;

Please Contact us for a FREE consultation to help you with your divorce or to help you make the decision to stay or go.  We will help give you the information you need to help you determine the next steps that are right for you..

Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at, or 1-888-281-2725


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