When we marry we hope to know everything about our bride or groom. The idea is to have dated long enough to have undergone enough experiences to learn more about each other and how each copes with tragedy, adversary, bad days. If after all the possible bad days and difficult times still prove that the two of you can work through anything. During your marriage many happy events occur, God willing, and during the marriage sad times occur, unfortunately.
However, often times when divorce happens in the marriage, you may find that you are dealing with Divorce and Mental Disorders in your spouse and there are character traits that emerge that the other spouse was not aware of. Divorce is a blow to many people, even the most healthiest. Divorce means many things to different people. It can bring up fears and anxiety that have been dormant for years. It can bring up feelings of abandonment that trigger from childhood, it brings up shame, failure, loss.
When any of us feel threatened in our emotional security we will react. It depends on our coping mechanisms and resiliency on how we cope and at what level of our coping skills actually are. When one individual may have repressed emotional issues and then undergo divorce the trauma of divorce can trigger severe repercussions.
One case in particular was handled with just a mediator. The couple appeared to be in agreement on the settlement and negotiated through several sessions but then signed off on the agreement as though all were satisfied. Since there was no divorce coach in the room assessing the emotional climate and asking questions to address the level of emotion, the coping skills of each spouse, along with the curiosity of how each was managing the negotiations, much of this pertinent information was left out.
As it turns out, after the couple dissolved their marital and financial responsibilities to each other , the one spouse suffered an emotional breakdown. This breakdown triggered what is known as Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD sufferers are often found to have experienced childhood abuse, neglect, separation, sexual abuse, or violence.
This individual came into therapy due to difficulty sleeping, eating and over all coping. The effects on the children were detrimental. The purpose of a divorce coach is to assess and manage these deep seated emotions and detect them in the room during the negotiation process. Much of the aftermath of this family breakdown could have been avoided had there been a qualified divorce coach as part of the team.
Please Contact Us for a FREE consultation if you think that your spouse may have a mental disorder and you need a Divorce Coach in the room to help you get through the process in a more amicable way.