Divorce is not the end it’s the beginning. Although we are not here to promote divorce we do promote peace and well-being. We meet many couples and at times it is one spouse that is a bit further along in the concept of separation than the other. We support both individuals and understand with compassion how each of them sees and feels about their present state and their future. The one spouse who wants to try and save the marriage has a multitude of feelings and it may be a long difficult journey to get to the place that his or her spouse is at. We recommend couples counseling for all couples who have reached this crossroad. For a few reasons This is the best avenue to take. For one, in order for the separation to dissolve amicably both parties should fully understand why the marriage dissolved. In knowing this both spouses can take their take share of responsibility. It does take two and if the responsibilities are addressed then no one is the victim and therefore the healing and the beginning for both.
Another reason to meet with counselor to better understand how the dissolve of the marriage can be managed is both spouses get the opportunity to recognize each other’s strengths and good qualities. Now. This may not be the place to reminisce about all the ways each of you fell in love in the first place and this suggestions may seem incongruent to the goal of divorce, but actually it does make a huge impact for the process and post divorce stages.
Until the marriage is over most couples focus of the negative this justifies the means of the desired divorce. In most cases it is the positive that gets overlooked and dismissed. But being honest with each other about what you do appreciate about each other won’t necessarily get the marriage back but is will begin to place the marriage in a more neutral stance rather than a hostile one. Rarely does a couple in pre-divorce counseling ever fall back in love. Violins don’t play butterflies don’t fly. Respect and admiration emerge and with this the deeper understandings about and around values are more clearly defined.
The pre counseling is brief but its purpose is to help close the past and bring understanding to why and how the marriage dissolved and be able to accept the present state and prepare for the future in the most healthiest of ways. We know it’s not easy to find the positive within someone who may have betrayed or disappointed you but it would be in the best interest of your own self-preservation and future. If you can’t find resolution in your heart over the loss of your marriage then it is very possible you will pull in the next relationship and continue the pattern thinking now you found the opposite but the truth is you found the same and will then continue with the pattern from which you came from trying subconsciously to heal the wounds. Wouldn’t it be best to heal the wounds and find closure before going on?
Please Contact us for a FREE consultation to help you with your divorce or to help you make the decision to stay or go.