Informing The Children About Your Divorce

Informing the children about your divorceYesterday We received a call from two parents asking us for advice on informing the children about your divorce. First of all we would like to point out that these two people are conscientious parents who know that informing their children in the most delicate and caring way is certainly acting in the best interest of the children.

We know this painful situation would prefer not to happen, but confronting it despite the agony is a child focused family. 

When all members of the family think on these terms rather than the alternative which is fighting in court and the Bringing it home for the children  to overhear and the shouting matches and mud -slinging to the other parents to the point that the children wish they will divorce because they can’t take the fighting anymore.

Both scenarios are painful but the latter is traumatizing to the children riddled with their guilt of wishing their parents to end their marriage.

 

Many parents do not know how to share the news of separation so therefore we have included two paragraphs that may help. These were written by judge Michele Lowrance, author of The Good Karma Divorce. 

 We hope this is helpful:

“Mom and dad have problems with each other and cannon live together. We have tried very hard to work out the problems and decided that living separately would be better. It has nothing to do with you. It is strictly between mom and dad. We are sorry that this is causing you pain, but we are going to work together to help take the pain away”

 I know it feels very unfair that you should be affected by our problems. We very much wish that we could have worked them out. We are going to work together, so that the changes made in our family will work out for you. There is nothing we could have done to stop this, it is a grownup problem, created by grown-ups and solved by grown-ups.

 

Remember this:  Parents need to tell the children together! Staying neutral and without indication of blame.

Please Contact us for a FREE consultation to help you with your divorce or to help you make the decision to stay or go.  We will help give you the information you need to help you determine the next steps that are right for you..

 Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, info@mediationandcounseling.com or 1-888-281-2725

 

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