Most of the main issues in a relationship come down to trust. How does trust happen? Trust doesn’t only mean that your partner will never rip you off, steal from you or deceive you. Trust also pertains to reliability. This is when you say you will do something and then follow through. The problem with many couples is that each, may promise or commit to something and then not follow through. It can be as simple as a request for something that needs to be tended to and if it doesn’t get tended to, this can compromise the trust.
Follow through and consistency means a lot to many people. If follow through does not occur than the integrity of that person is in question. Couples need to know that there is an unspoken trust and respect. Most of the time it comes from the woman’s end. Due to history and conditioning and being told or over-hearing that the men are not trustworthy can plant the seed in a woman’s mind. This seed germinates and every time she senses that her partner is not following through, or respecting her the seed of untrustworthiness begins to grow a little. Men need to be aware of this and not dismiss is.
For men, this remains a constant question. Sometimes it comes through a behavior of commitment. Can she commit to me, or will someone else take my place if I’m not enough for her. Men need to be reassured that his partner will commit to making him the priority over friends, family, work and kids. Each time he feels she has not been true to him first, given the excuse that young children are in need and must be tended to, but aside from this the man must feel important. Trust is a variable of many behaviors and agendas on each partner’s value chart. Being mindful and checking in with each other can repair any glimmer of distrust or deceit that may have occurred.
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Read about what Dana and Don say about trust in their book, Conscious Coupling.