Making A Decision To Divorce

MMaking a decision to Divorceaking a decision is a process. It starts with a feeling, a feeling that keeps picking at you. It sometimes feels like a problem that won’t go away. You try to make adjustments, you sometimes take the big problem and stuff it away and act on it by drinking too much, or eating, shopping, gambling, whatever it is that you do to try and solve the problem superficially, But the big problem and the pain is always there.

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It takes courage to confront the problem and address the problem. Ask yourself what are the symptoms of your problem? Do you get depressed, do you get angry? Do you withdraw, do you get aggressive. What need is this problem serving? Do find that you get a lot of attention because of your problem. Like if you are sad about a break up or if you are in a bad relationship do you talk to friends and family about it and continue to perpetuate the problem? Because when you talk about it you get attention? What if you got rid of the problem? What if that problem went away? Do you feel happier? Perhaps but also this problem has become part of who you are. You may be more comfortable keeping the problem with you.
Do you think that is wise? What if you solved your problem and lived your life free from this problem? Wow wouldn’t that be amazing, yet you might create a new problem because you are accustomed to having problems that you can talk about and then you can continue to get the attention that serves that need. I would like to see if you can solve your dilemma and not create any new dilemma and live your life without the need to get the negative attention but rather positive attention. This new attention that you will receive after having solved your problem will be the better fit for you. Because most people want to hear positive news and want to celebrate your success in life. The ones who like to hear misery are looking to feed off that misery and we don’t want to be one feeding them. Be the example of a good life be the one who is excited about his or her life and by being the positive one you are now giving others hope in their own journey.

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at, or 1-888-281-2725.


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