Marital Low Points

Marital Low PointsThere are articles that say how we think and feel about relationships so this one I found says much about the topic of “Feeling Disconnected”.  “We don’t get married for economic necessity like in the past. Now we want to feel madly passionately in love, but that’s hard to keep up.” Says Kathleen Mates-Youngeman ( family therapist}. What was once passion turns into logistical ho-hum of soccer practices and dry-cleaning pick up and the marriage suffers from neglect. “Couples start to take each other for granted and don’t give the relationship the attention it needs.

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There are external stressors and hurt feeling that start to build up. Then people begin to feel resentful and stop trying” What needs doing is this… Put time and attention into your relationship like you would any project that’s important to you. “Big gestures require big effort and are less likely. “Instead focus on the simple things that matter to your partner says, Scott Stanley, Ph.D. “if your partner takes a walk every night after dinner and you use to go but not anymore, than start going again. We all know the little things that we can do on any given day that our partners appreciate, Do them.” And don’t underestimate a cheesy conversation. Think about getting to know your partner every day, be curious. Here’s a question.” Would you rather be with people of alone when you are feeling stressed?” you may think you know your partner but you might be surprised. Be aware that we are always developing and in life experiences we do change a little. The key here is not accept that this is what marriage is and that it gets old or boring over time. The best marriages are those that stay fresh and new. Be patient while it hits its low points and do not ever lose your sense of humor about it.

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at, or 1-888-281-2725.

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Read about what Dana and Don say about relationships in their book, Conscious Coupling.


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