Are You Ok With Your Spouse’s Hobby?

spouse's hobbyWhen you were dating you probably embarked on many different activities together which is wonderful and fun. As time went on you may have discovered that there were certain interests that you both liked doing together and some were …eh.  So you both stuck to the ones you like doing together such as maybe theatre, restaurants, games, camping, canoeing and so on. The other activities may have been more exciting to one than the other, like skeet shooting or concerts or picnic in the park? Who doesn’t like a picnic in the park, I ask you?! Some don’t. But what if your partner now has the passion for an expensive hobby like Boating, but you see it has a huge expense and do not want to contribute you marital income into this extravagance as you see it. Should portioning out the expense of it be discussed, even though you do like to take the boat out? Yet if you never had a boat your life would still be satisfying. But for your partner life isn’t worth living without a boat. So there you have it, your spouse’s hobby.

Take into consideration the scale of priority. Is it at the top of his priority list as to how he wants to spend the extra money the marriage can afford? And for you it is at the bottom of the priority list and don’t believe you can afford it all because there are so many other ways you would spend the marital funds. This can be quite a conflict in your relationship but not one that has to cause pain and suffering. You can either confer with The Mediation and Family Counseling Group’s CDFA/Finance expert Don and discuss the distribution of monies spent and how that can effect retirement and assets later on, or you can come up with a plan on your own and decide that since we have this big expense and therefore cannot afford other luxuries that perhaps the partner who doesn’t care for the boat now has to sacrifice. Later in the marriage after years of spending on one partner’s dream it may work out that the boat gets sold and then the other partner gets to decide how and what luxuries can be paid for  such as travel to foreign countries or a better retirement savings. The idea is to compromise over time and that each of you gets your fair share of a dream.
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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at www.mediationandcounseling.com, info@mediationandcounseling.com or 1-888-281-2725.

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