When you first get together it’s usually protocol to meet each other’s family and also important are his or her friends. Does your partner hate your friends? When you meet the family, this tells you the tribe in which he or she derives from. You may want to pay attention to the relationship between your partner and the parents. Is there a special kind of closeness or an odd sense of distance? Too much closeness may be just over the boundary of individuation and if you get married and this closeness that can be known as enmeshment can very well interfere in your marriage. Distance may not be the best either, distance is cold. This can mean that your partner may have the propensity to cut off or withdraw emotions.
The usual truth as how the son relates to his mother can say a lot as well. He is respectful, does he care for her, his he attentive etc.
When you meet his or her friends, are they mature, respectful, welcoming to you.
Does your partner have friends? If she doesn’t have girlfriends of her own, you may want to explore that. Is it because she doesn’t trust other women? What happened that she doesn’t trust women?
When you observe your partner with his or her family and friends pay attention to the affection she has with them. What is the level of comfort he or she has with these other people?
Does your partner tend to have conflicts, cut offs, problems with other people on a general basis, always complaining he or she is not being treated fairly? Does your partner seem to have a negative comment about your family and friends or are they mostly supportive, willing to embrace and have the desire to continue a relationship with them?
These are the tell tale signs of whether down the road you and your partner will build a community as a couple or isolate and become co-dependent on each other.
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