Personal Growth In Marriage

personal growth in marriagePersonal Growth is one of the six basic needs according to Family Therapist Cloe Madanes. Without personal growth in marriage for each spouse, the relationship won’t thrive and we as individuals won’t thrive. What are your goals for personal growth what are your partner’s goals for personal growth?  The key is not to have the same goals per se, but to have goals to begin with. If you and your partner have the belief that personal growth is important, than it’s essential for the two of you to set forth goals for yourself. When they are met you set new ones. As a life coach, therapist and co-mediator with Don we talk to couples about their goals for themselves and how they will set them and how they will achieve them.
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Many times one partner tends to stop growing personally and the other partner continues to set goals and achieve them and thus out growing their partner. Not pretty when realized. For a goal setter who sees their partner as stagnant without the desire to set goals can start to eat away the respect and desirability even the sexual attraction. Having goals and making new goals can be a healthy way of expressing yourself while expanding the relationship and making each of  a more well rounded individual as well as collectively. it would certainly be more information about each other as well as adding more excitement to the day and week.
Couples who set goals together are more supportive of one another. Each of you knowing that as the goals are being met and achieved each of you then is receiving a more interesting and happier partner. Your partner may become healthier, if the goals are about health. Perhaps one makes a goal to read more of follow the current events or learns to cook more recipes, or takes on new hobby or interest. What better way to see your partner live his or her life in much more creative environment that they have chosen for themselves. If you cannot think of where you want to start then sign up for a class somewhere. Or join a group of some sort that will get the creative juices flowing. Share with each other the thoughts and ideas and be supportive of each idea. Be your partner’s biggest support and see how you both flourish. Not a bad example for the kids either.

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at, or 1-888-281-2725.

Dana and Don's book, Conscious Coupling, and gain insight on saving your marriage.
Read about what Dana and Don say about relationships in their book, Conscious Coupling.


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