The Importance of Being Independent In Marriage

Recent statistics state that divorced women with children are four times more likely than married women to have an income that is under the poverty line. A single mom is nine times more likely than a married woman to have an income that is less than half the official poverty line. Although 10% of families in the U.S. are headed by a woman, 40% of poor families have a female head of household. Of course, divorce also results in a higher cost to society as a whole. According to one study, a single divorce can cost state and federal governments more than $30,000 in court fees, increased bankruptcies, food stamps, and public housing benefits

These statistics are the result of  poor planning and the decision to rely on the husbands income. When marriages end and the divorce is final, the marital assets have been divided, child support and shared parenting is all arranged and agreed upon, it is time to severe the ex-spousal attachment. This means you are no longer indebted nor reliant on him anymore. It is not in your best interest to perch yourself in the marital home, lunch with your other divorcee friends and bond over  ex-husband bashing. It is time to pick yourself up from the debri of divorce and get back out there and become self-reliant and self-sufficient.

It is not uncommon for most divorce proceedings to take time. Therefore, during this process find yourself a therapist who won’t indulge with you in licking your wounds by sharing in  ex-husband bashing you so much want to enjoy. Rather, it would be more productive  that your therapist and you utilize the session to formulate a goal plan that is more empowering than  sitting in her office each week blaming his mother for the way she screwed him up.

Contact us for a FREE consultation and to help you determine if you are being independent in marriage.

Dana and Don co-founded the Mediation and Family Counseling Group.  Check us out at


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