Monogamy is Innate

monogamy may be unrealistic for youInfidelity is allowed, we don’t call it cheating. For those who are in a committed relationship but find themselves in an affair more than once during one relationship may have redefined infidelity and as a non-issue. For the cheater, cheating is not cheating.

Monogamy is more of the problem for them. To many people it is not natural. Multiple partners seeking sexual pleasure is more the norm. So how does this work?  If you are in a committed relationship and it has been agreed upon that this committed relationship is exclusive from other sex partners then this is your agreement and contract and not to be breached.

However, if you are in a relationship that is committed and not open to multiple partners, but your partner believes he or she is in a committed relationship with you but is open to multiple partners outside of your relationship you may want to decide where each of are, as far as what monogamy means.
For many individuals monogamy is not suited to their species. It seems unnatural. Evolution time-line shows that many humans died by the age of 30. This is not the median age anymore, and to be in a long lasting marriage of 20, 30, 50, years was never the case. It is now, and saty in one relationship may be a challenge for some. Not to say that monogamy only exists because two people believe in it, it’s what many couples choose for their marriages. For those who don’t agree with monogamy over long lasting relationships and still live long healthy lives past the age of 30 are seeking and satisfied with the alternative. A long lasting committed marriage with all the comforts of friendship, sex, family life, financial security and an added feature which is multiple sex partners and the excitement of variety and lust. It’s nobody’s business on how you conduct your life when it comes to personal preferences as long as no one is getting hurt, betrayed or victimized.

Speak to your partner as to what works best for each of you and then decide if you are suited for each other.

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Dana and Don, are co-founders of The Mediation and Family Counseling Group.   We can be reached at, or 1-888-281-2725.

Dana and Don's book, Conscious Coupling, and gain insight on saving your marriage.
Read about what Dana and Don say about relationships in their book, Conscious Coupling.


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